Irrational Geographic: New Revelations about Ancient Egypt

pharaohs

Archaeologists in Cairo have made new discoveries that might change the face of history. According to Dr. Asyut Aswan, an archaeologist who led a team of researchers down to investigate ancient tombs of some merchants, they have discovered ancient references to Global Warming and Pollution.

Aswan released his findings at a press conference in Luxor. His people found ancient inscriptions in the tomb showing pictures of the sun and of the desert. According to his leading Egyptologists, there are hieroglyphics detailing that the desert was hot and the sun was bright.

“This must mean something important, because they wouldn’t write what everyone knows. Obviously, these inscriptions must mean that there was some sort of excessive heating epidemic in Egypt at this time. This discovery might prove that climate change is true, because of the intelligence of the ancients.”

However, Cici LeBlanc, an archaeologist intern that is currently on a dig in South America, wrote to us that she disagreed. “Often these tomb reliefs show scenes from everyday life. We see paintings of hunting and of farming, and we don’t think anything of it. Suddenly, Dr. Aswan finds a painting of the sun on the desert and assumes that it means something different.” Miss LeBlanc’s views are not widely held, however, as most leading scientists are on the side of Dr. Asyut.

Dr. Asyut sent out a press release Monday, in which he dismissed any doubts by Miss LeBlanc. “The Ancients were very brilliant. They built the pyramids without any power tools or modern cranes. We have every reason to believe that these reliefs depict climate change, because they were so advanced that they must have come to the same conclusions we have.” He also stated that Miss LeBlanc’s claims were unsubstantiated because “she simply hasn’t been in the field long enough to understand the true nature of Archaeology.”

If these tombs do indeed show climate change to be an issue, historians might finally be able to unlock the mysteries of ancient Egypt. According to History Weekly, there is a model being developed that fits climate change as one of the factors for the “plagues” attributed to the deity of the Hebrews in Exodus.

Dr. Aswan says that his purposes are purely scientific in searching out ancient mentions of climate change. “I only wish to show the world how the theory of Climate Change has been a founding factor in world history, and that those who speak against it don’t know what they are talking about.”

 

About Rebekah Hair

Rebekah Hair is currently a homeschooled student and enjoys cartooning, spending time with her cats, and programming on her computer. She loves to draw and write.
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